Good times, good times…

Now, I live in Huntsville, AL. When people ask how I like it in Huntsville, my pat reply is that the only thing wrong with Huntsville is it is surrounded by Alabama.

As this post is written, ESPN’s College Gameday program is being broadcast from Baton Rouge, where the Alabama Crimson Tide (WTF is a Crimson Tide supposed to be anyway?… [shudder]…) is rolling into town to take on the Tigers of the Louisiana State University. Normally, not must-see TV for the average Gator fan especially with Florida heading into a potential trap-game against a better-than-usual Vanderbilt on the same day. Howver, Florida has a stranglehold on the SEC East title and Alabama has a stranglehold on the SEC West title, meaning these two teams will most likely match up in early December in the SEC Championship Game.

And right now, Alabama is the #1 team in the country. So, Florida fans, if you want to see our beloved Gators in the BCS title game, playing for the national championship, the ideal situation you can hope for is for Alabama to roll into Atlanta undefeated and still #1.  If Florida beats the #1 team in the country in their final game of the season, a CHAMPIONSHIP game, guess who goes to the title game?

It ain’t USC beating up on a weak PAC-10, buddy.

Gator fans, say it loud, say it proud:

Roll Tide.

Most people know I’m a Gator fan. I don’t pretend anything else.

Now, we’re hearing reports that Urban Meyer contacted the girlfriend of a recruit, who is also a gymnast and probably a legitimate scholarship athlete herself, supposedly to recruit her with the idea that she and the football recruit would probably accept scholarships together.

Maybe not such a big deal?

Think again.

Here’s why it IS a big deal: The NCAA has rules in place to prevent coaches from recruiting for other sports to prevent undeserving athletes from receiving scholarships as part of a “package” to get the more-desired athlete signed. Suppose this gymnast was not a legitimate Division 1 athlete? Suppose she’s Division II at best? Now, Florida would be providing extra inducements to get the football recruit, a big no-no.

Personally, I think this is an innocent case; it appears the gymnast is a legitimate Division I athlete, and would have received a scholarship offer from a number of schools. In fact, she was apparently competing for UCLA in 2006, prior to transferring to a junior college. So, I think it’s probably a case of no-harm, no-foul.

BUT, if it’s true, it’s a violation, and it gives the perception of a program tip-toeing the ethical line. Given that there are so many more ways to accomplish the same goal – getting both athletes to UF – this is a pretty dumb mistake.

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• Tim Tebow invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
• Tim Tebow saved the manatees. Then he stiff armed them back on the endandered species list so they wouldnt get cocky.
• What color is Tim Tebow’s blood? Trick question. Tim Tebow does not bleed.
• Tim Tebow sweats Gatorade.
• Tim Tebow was once sleeping on his stomach when he got morning wood and struck oil.
• When you open a can of whoop-ass, Tim Tebow jumps out.

Yeah, it’s a total rip-off of the Chuck Norris site, but occasionally you find a new one. Maybe the Gatorade one. I don’t care, they’re funny.

I admit it. I am one jealous, fat, middle-aged man.

So, anyway, congratulations to Tim Tebow of THE University of Florida. For a sophmore on a 3-loss team to win the Heisman, it’s a testament to him that the Heisman voters perceive him to be the best player in college football. Well done, Gator Nation is proud of you, don’t show up against Michigan fat and slow like Troy Smith did in the National Championship game last year.

And, stay away from the girls that have received more than their share of God’s blessings. They’re bad for the legs. Makes ‘em weak.

I’m a Florida fan, but haven’t necessarily been a Tebow fan, but there isn’t any way to deny this guy his due.

Anyhoo, the Florida-Georgia rivalry extends well beyond the football field, and despite the classless display by those dastardly Bulldogs in Jacksonville, whupping up on our beloved Gators then rubbing it in their faces like that, it’s pretty well-established that Florida is better than Georgia.

For instance:

1. Oranges taste better than peaches.
2. Georgia – Six Flags; Florida – Disney, Epcot, Universal, etc.
3. Georgia was settled as a penal colony. Therefore, all Georgians are criminals.
4. Georgia sucks. How do you think Florida stays attached to the mainland.
5. Parts of Florida have been ruled under 7 flags. Parts of Georgia have been ruled under 6 flags. Therefore, Florida is more desirable.
6. When you go to flickr.com and type in the search “sexy florida woman” you get this:
7. When you go to flickr.com and type in the search “sexy Georgia woman” you get this:

Man, times like this I’m so grateful for politicians that threaten old men with anal rape, and those that are willing to pay for it in park bathrooms.

Y’all come back now, y’heah?

Can you imagine asking a Florida Highway Patrolman to scratch your nuts? I mean, after you’re in handcuffs?

OVERHEARD

Don’t know much about recent history

Two 20-somethings chatting in a San Marco bakery earlier this week.

First guy: They’re filming some stuff for that HBO movie Recount today.

Second guy: Yeah, I saw the crew working on signs. Why are they setting up so much stuff to make it look like everything is happening in Palm Beach?

A while back the local government passed an ordinance to get rid of sidewalk vendors and performance artists. Local businesses hated them, because they competed for tourist dollars and tourist eyeballs, and created clogs of people on St. George Street, a foot-traffic only stretch of shops in historic buildings.

I can understand their point: They’re paying big bucks to own or lease space for their store selling paintings and pictures, while some guy can sit down on the sidewalk outside of their door and set up an easel and start whipping out paintings for the locals. Hardly seems fair, except that it IS a public thoroughfare.

I always enjoyed that stuff. I never spent any money because I never saw anything I had to have, but I did drop a buck in a guitar case from time to time. I was also approached by panhandlers, but I just say “no” and they walk away, no hassle. No big deal.

But, it feels like the place is changing. The sidewalk artists are gone, the musicians are gone, and all we’re left with is shopping and restaurants. Hardly unique. The city pays people to dress in period costume and provide information to tourists, but issued a citation to a one-legged man dressed as a pirate that was charging $2 for a picture.

Really? Was he holding them down, forcing them to take pictures of him, then grabbing $2 from their wallets? Why can’t the tourists decide if they want to pay $2 for a picture?