Anyhoo, the Florida-Georgia rivalry extends well beyond the football field, and despite the classless display by those dastardly Bulldogs in Jacksonville, whupping up on our beloved Gators then rubbing it in their faces like that, it’s pretty well-established that Florida is better than Georgia.

For instance:

1. Oranges taste better than peaches.
2. Georgia – Six Flags; Florida – Disney, Epcot, Universal, etc.
3. Georgia was settled as a penal colony. Therefore, all Georgians are criminals.
4. Georgia sucks. How do you think Florida stays attached to the mainland.
5. Parts of Florida have been ruled under 7 flags. Parts of Georgia have been ruled under 6 flags. Therefore, Florida is more desirable.
6. When you go to flickr.com and type in the search “sexy florida woman” you get this:
7. When you go to flickr.com and type in the search “sexy Georgia woman” you get this:

1. In Florida, if winter falls on a weekend, we have a festival. In NH, if summer falls on a weekend, they have a picnic.
2. Floridians can swim comfortably year-round thanks to our swimming pools, beaches, and natural springs.
3. If you don’t like the weather in Florida, wait 15 minutes and it will change. If you don’t like the weather in NH, wait 15 days.
4. It is sufficient to say something is “Awesome” in Florida. We do not require “Wicked” to describe how awesome something is.
5. Floridians don’t have to buy their booze from the state.
6. Floridians have Key West (and Miami, and Ft. Lauderdale, and Palm Beach, and Clearwater, and Tampa, and St. Petersburg, and Jacksonville, and you get the picture). NH has Mt. Washington, home to the worst weather in the continental US.
7. Today’s temperature in Jacksonville, FL: 74 degrees. Today’s temperature in Derry, NH: 45 degrees.

Man, this is weird, even for Florida…

Dismembered Again

Seems that back in the 1960′s a bunch of the men in town blew off hands and feet for the insurance money. You simply HAVE to read this story at tampabay.com!

Here’s a couple teasers for you:

Once upon a time, the Panhandle city of Vernon was a national laughingstock. Its people were ridiculed as bumpkins and cranks, freaks willing to shoot off their own hands. Then things changed. Time and hard work helped bury the past, and now Vernon has reclaimed some of its dignity. If only that were the end of the story.

Hmmm… tell me more…

The characters are not heroes. They are not even villains. They are merely conniving mercenaries with a tolerance for gore.

No shee-ite, y’all ain’t gonna believe this…

How does a town become known as Nub City? Why did more than two-thirds of all loss-of-limb accident claims in the United States in the late ’50s and early ’60s come from the Florida Panhandle? What was the first event in the bloody chain that led a national insurance investigator to Main Street in Vernon, to sit in a parked car on a hot summer night, watching the maimed walk by in a shuddersome parade?

Ok, I’m not going to steal this guy’s thunder, it’s a great story and you gotta go over there to read about the amputees of Vernon, FL. However, here’s a list of things you can find in Vernon, FL that you can’t find anyplace else:

1. A REAL second-hand store.
2. More one-legged women named “Eileen” per capita than anyplace else.
3. The original IHOP.
4. Every parking spot in town is a handicapped spot.
5. Wheelchairs with mud tires and lift kits and gun racks… up on blocks…

A big catch that has neighbors talking!St. Petersburg, Florida — Last Summer, Frank Maloney and his friends got hooked on fishing off his dock. They never thought they would catch something this big.

Maloney called for help and his friends knew this was not just a normal catch.

It took three hours of reeling to bring in a 600 pound, 9 foot long bull shark. Neighbors started gathering to see the shark. Many were stunned to see such a big shark in someone’s backyard.

The shark will be mounted on Maloney’s wall. The fisherman used a six-pound Bonita for bait and an 80 pound test line to catch the shark.

My brother and several friends were lifeguards at the beach. They said they used to see sharks all the time from up in their chairs, and swimmers were never aware. They just watched to make sure the sharks didn’t move in – usually they were just passing by.

Think about that on your next trip to the beach.

Probably both. With a median age of 83 for their population, not much happens there. Most of their news actually takes place in Tampa.

Anyway, there was an interesting piece about sweet tea a few days ago. Those of you in the north will never understand our obsession with sweet tea. We’re raised on it. We can get it anytime, anyplace, with free refills.

When I was traveling on business, it was like pulling teeth to get iced tea, sweet or unsweet, outside of the southeast. If I ordered it at breakfast, the waiter would look at me like I was from Mars, then go brew it.

Can you believe that? It wasn’t even brewed!

What are we gonna do with those yankees?

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