Dec
21
Coming Soon: American Idol - The MILF Edition (or, “Is Jessica Sierra pregnant?”)
Filed Under Florida Crime | 3 Comments
Man, I’ve got to be careful how I word these things. But, local news websites, Fox News, and TMZ are all reporting that sweet l’il Jessica is on a pregnancy diet between bars. Daddy is supposed to be a rapper.
I half expected it to be a cop. But, I guess you can’t get preggers from oral sex, despite what I might be telling my own girls in a couple years.
(Be sure to look for my upcoming book, “Sex Misinformation: How to Scare and Guilt Your Children Into Chastity”. Y’all.)
So, let’s see what this little one gets to look forward to in about 10 years when his/her Mom is chain-smoking Marlboros on the porch of her double-wide on Nebraska Avenue, assuming he/she manages to get online at the library or someplace that won’t filter news about his/her Mom:
- Multiple drug and alcohol arrests
- Mom offering to blow a cop to get out of jail
- Mom’s sex tape
- Mom preg-o in jail
Did I miss anything?
Oh yeah, she managed to make it to the American Idol finals. Nice. She peaked at 20 years of age.
More "Hot Women in Jail" Posts
- Oh, this is just too funny: Fallen Idol
- Jessica Sierra offers cop oral sex in exchange for release
- Debra Lafave arrested again; does not offer oral sex to cop in exchange for release
- Did Tampa teacher get sentenced to prison for sex with student because she’s a lesbian?
- That nice girl from American Idol, Jessica Sierra, has a sex tape. Allegedly.
- Coming Soon: American Idol - The MILF Edition (or, “Is Jessica Sierra pregnant?”)
- The Debra Lafave violation report is a punny thing
Nov
21
Only in FLA: Superman robs 7-11
Filed Under Florida Crime, Only in FLA, Orlando | Leave a Comment
My guess is these two will be the Belles of the Ball at the 33rd Street lock-up:
Two men wearing Superman pajamas were taken into custody today after they robbed three 7-Eleven convenience stores at gunpoint, according to police.
Here’s where they went wrong:
An officer said he noticed the pajama-wearing men robbing the 7-Eleven store in MetroWest and waited in the parking lot.
See guys, you thought the jammies would a great distraction, huh? That the jammies would be the onliest thing people would remember? You forgot about how you would sorta stand out, didn’t you?
Hat tip to tampabays10.com
Aug
23
Heard at work
Filed Under Humor | 2 Comments
I’ve never seen cheese do THAT!
You better be careful, she still has that restraining order against you.
My dad went up for my grandmother’s hip replacement surgery and is bringing her hip back to hang on the wall of his shed.
Jul
6
Make the punishment fit the crime
Filed Under Florida Crime | Leave a Comment
Unreal: Gang forces West Palm Beach mother and son to have sex
These 10 soulless wastes of human flesh are between 14 and 18 years of age.
Here’s hoping they receive 10-fold what they’ve given… in prison.
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May
9
True justice would be jailing these soon-to-be-bitches at the same prison:
Charges filed against 8 former employees at Hendry prison
By BRENT KALLESTAD Associated Press WriterTALLAHASSEE, Fla. - Prosecutors issued arrest warrants Tuesday for eight former prison employees accused of abusing inmates, including forcing some to clean toilets with their tongues…
Source: Jacksonville.com
Apr
29
Oh, this is just too funny: Fallen Idol
Filed Under Florida Crime, Humor | 1 Comment
You can take the girl out of the trailer, but you can’t take the trailer out of the girl…
Former ‘Idol’ star arrested
By Alexandra Zayas
Published April 29, 2007
TAMPA - Former American Idol contestant Jessica Sierra was arrested early Sunday morning at the Hyde Park Cafe for allegedly throwing a cocktail glass at another patron’s head, Tampa Police spokeswoman Andrea Davis said.
The 21-year-old singer was “belligerent” and uncooperative with police, Davis said.
She was threatened with leg constraints after repeatedly kicking at the windows from within the squad car, so hard, officers thought they would break, Davis said.
Police have not yet determined if Sierra knew the victim, Wisam Hadad, 28, of Tampa. Hadad declined medical transport for the laceration over his eye.
When Sierra was transported to Orient Road Jail, police reportedly found a small baggie of cocaine in her purse.
She was arrested on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, possession of cocaine and introduction of contraband into a detention facility…
More "Hot Women in Jail" Posts
- Oh, this is just too funny: Fallen Idol
- Jessica Sierra offers cop oral sex in exchange for release
- Debra Lafave arrested again; does not offer oral sex to cop in exchange for release
- Did Tampa teacher get sentenced to prison for sex with student because she’s a lesbian?
- That nice girl from American Idol, Jessica Sierra, has a sex tape. Allegedly.
- Coming Soon: American Idol - The MILF Edition (or, “Is Jessica Sierra pregnant?”)
- The Debra Lafave violation report is a punny thing
Apr
16
Heard at work today:
Filed Under Humor | Leave a Comment
“He’d been in the penitentiary, and I divorced him when he got locked back up.”
technorati tags: funny, penitentiary, divorce
