Sorry, I just don’t have the energy to write about how this woman ought to be… Police: Fla. driver’s beer was buckled up, infant was not See, told you I don’t have the energy.

First we had the crazy old lady filing charges against her tangerine-stealing neighbor. Now, GPS equipped baby Jesus foils thief

It’s been a while since I had a “juicy” Only-in-FLA post, and today I have one courtesy of the last county I lived in, Hernando. Hernando was basically a divided county for about 35 years, with the east side of the county consisting primarily of multi-generational Floridians and the west side consisting of “Yankees”. You [...]

According to tampabays10.com, there is a conservation group in Yulee with a fairly… unique… fundraiser going on at eBay: Rhino Poop The International Rhino Federation is running the auction. Prices are up to $400 to $500 per sample, depending on variety. I have no idea how they authenticate this crap.

Why we insist on allowing EVERYONE with penis and a uterus to breed is beyond me. It’s a shame the kids are the ones that have to suffer. I mean, really, what kind of parents get so wasted on a Saturday with their kids that they black out WHILE DRIVING HOME and can’t even remember [...]

My guess is these two will be the Belles of the Ball at the 33rd Street lock-up: Two men wearing Superman pajamas were taken into custody today after they robbed three 7-Eleven convenience stores at gunpoint, according to police. Here’s where they went wrong: An officer said he noticed the pajama-wearing men robbing the 7-Eleven [...]

It’s all over the news in Florida today: A guy was breaking into cars at the Miccosukee Resort and Convention Center and was chased by tribal police. Let me stop for a moment and just say that down here, we assume every body of water has an alligator. It’s safer that way. Those suckers turn [...]

Man, this would funny if it weren’t so tragic. Investigators said 32-year-old Charles Tucker Jr. was using the cat door early Saturday morning as a way to get back into his girlfriend’s St. Augustine home after the woman kicked him out. Deputies said several hours after his girlfriend told him to leave she found him [...]

Grandpa Picks Up Wrong Kid From School My in-laws pick the kids up from various functions all the time. I can’t imagine this ever happening. Is this guy blond, or just so out of touch with his grandchildren that he doesn’t even know them? Please Mom, get him to an eye doctor, then introduce him [...]

It’s just underwater pumpkin-carving, held down in the Florida Keys at the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary.