Mar
4
Jesus doesn’t know
Filed Under Family | 10 Comments
Last week, my 6-year old was being evil in church. Finally, I had enough and took her out of there (yes, I know she got what she wanted but it got to the point where she was physically injuring people next to her). The punishment was appropriate, and I also asked her to write a letter of apology to Jesus. Instead, she wrote it to God.
I’m saving it to frame when she gets older.
The translation, for those of you that can’t read kindergarten spelling and grammar:
Sorry I was bad so I’m sending this note.
Love Emily __________
xoooo
PS: Don’t tell Jesus, he doesn’t know
“
“
Nov
4
So, it’s been a few months, I think, since I wrote about church. Don’t worry this isn’t about religion. There is a difference, you know.
(Again, for those that don’t know my opinion on discussions of religion and God and whether he exists or not, allow me to tell you: It’s none of your business. I am not evangelical in any way, shape, manner or form. I don’t go to your blog and try to change your opinion, don’t try to change mine.)
So, I’m in church this morning, wrangling the young ‘uns because I take the kids by myself about 95% of the time because my wife works most Sunday mornings answering incoming sales calls for Home Shopping Network - yes, it’s a stay-at-home job and you can find out about it from her. Also, I’m pretty sure she’s a heathen.
Anyway, the youngest is 5, so it’s really like herding cats for an hour and a half. This particular priest normally tries really hard to inspire the flock, but often it comes across like he’s trying to inspire himself. In this case, the parish is in the midst of a capital campaign, which I think other churches would call “The Building Fund” so he was reading from a script because apparently $1.4M isn’t enough just yet.
Of course, I tune out. I made up my mind long ago to limit my support to just my weekly envelope. I’m in no position to help, and when I inquired at the church’s school when I moved here 18 months ago about need-based and merit-based scholarships, I was told there weren’t any, so I don’t see the point in supporting expanding a school that won’t accept my kids because I can’t pay the tuition and they have a waiting list.
Shut up, it’s perfectly logical to me.
Anyway, in the midst of my kid-wrangling, I’m brought back to the moment by this little nugget from the mouth of a Catholic priest:
“… because the Lord needs a new parish activity center with a gymnasium.”
Excusemewhat?
Really, Catholic guilt works much better. Let’s leave the concept that we know which worldly goods the Lord wants us to have to the Protestants down at the Church-of-What’s-Happening-Now.
Just tell me what I don’t deserve to have.
Sep
11
The gayest post I’ve ever written
Filed Under Movies, Theme Parks | 5 Comments
And that’s saying something, considering that I’ve written about American Idol on other blogs.
So, I was sitting in church Sunday morning.
Yes, I go to church. No, I don’t want to talk about heaven, hell, God, Jesus, life, death, atheism, agnostics, christians, jews. If you do, go to blogger and get yourself a blog and write all about it on your own time. I pay for this space.
So, I’m in church. There’s a row with a half-dozen or so teenage boys in front of me.
Don’t start.
So, there’s a row of teenage boys, and everyone of them has the same haircut. I’m sure you’ve seen it, it’s been very popular since the first High School Musical broadcast. I call it the "Zac Efron-do".
It’s the "in" ‘do this year, I guess. Whatever, but I don’t understand how come it’s the ‘Zac and not the ‘Bleu.
Now THAT’s a ‘do! It takes a commitment to grow that mop out. It tells those 16 year old girls that you CARE about your looks, that you’re hip, you got it going on, AND you’ve got good hair!
I mean, ANYONE can grow the ‘Zac. Takes about 6-8 weeks to get it over the tops of your ears, 3-4 months to fill out.
The ‘Bleu, on the other hand, takes commitment. That’s a year, at least, that you’re looking at in that picture, folks. I know, I’ve got curly hair, it takes a long time to grow to that kind of length because it’s springy and shrinks up when it curls.
So, boys, be a man, get the ‘Bleu.
PS for Fab: The soundtrack to High School Musical 2 has a song by Ashley Tisdale titled "Fabulous". Great bumper music for the radio show, if you haven’t picked it up already. I have 2 daughters, I can’t help knowing things like this.
