Florida Sun Dog » American Idol http://floridasundog.com The weird and wacky world of Florida Wed, 28 Jul 2010 02:13:10 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Kenny Rogers at Subway? http://floridasundog.com/2008/03/18/kenny-rogers-at-subway/ http://floridasundog.com/2008/03/18/kenny-rogers-at-subway/#comments Wed, 19 Mar 2008 02:03:46 +0000 Tim http://floridasundog.com/2008/03/18/kenny-rogers-at-subway/ I think it was him, anyway. White guy, white hair, beard.

Oh yeah, Kenny shaved the beard when he got the face lift, didn’t he?

Hmmm… maybe it was Papa…

***

Oh yeah, I don’t give a crap what Simon said – that David Cook kicked ass on Idol tonight!

None of the girls are living up to McPheever status this season. Pity.

***

Why was there some woman standing in the hotel parking lot with a news camera and microphone, filming herself in front of the lobby – no cameraman – when I got home tonight?

Nobody was cooking meth at this place, it was a hotel across town. At least, that’s what I heard…

]]> http://floridasundog.com/2008/03/18/kenny-rogers-at-subway/feed/ 2 Coming Soon: American Idol – The MILF Edition (or, "Is Jessica Sierra pregnant?") http://floridasundog.com/2007/12/21/is-jessica-sierra-pregnant/ http://floridasundog.com/2007/12/21/is-jessica-sierra-pregnant/#comments Fri, 21 Dec 2007 21:34:53 +0000 Tim http://floridasundog.com/2007/12/21/is-jessica-sierra-pregnant/ jessica sierra mugshotMan, I’ve got to be careful how I word these things. But, local news websites, Fox News, and TMZ are all reporting that sweet l’il Jessica is on a pregnancy diet between bars. Daddy is supposed to be a rapper.

I half expected it to be a cop. But, I guess you can’t get preggers from oral sex, despite what I might be telling my own girls in a couple years.

(Be sure to look for my upcoming book, “Sex Misinformation: How to Scare and Guilt Your Children Into Chastity”. Y’all.)

So, let’s see what this little one gets to look forward to in about 10 years when his/her Mom is chain-smoking Marlboros on the porch of her double-wide on Nebraska Avenue, assuming he/she manages to get online at the library or someplace that won’t filter news about his/her Mom:

  1. Multiple drug and alcohol arrests
  2. Mom offering to blow a cop to get out of jail
  3. Mom’s sex tape
  4. Mom preg-o in jail

Did I miss anything?

Oh yeah, she managed to make it to the American Idol finals. Nice. She peaked at 20 years of age.

jessica sierra sex tape

]]> http://floridasundog.com/2007/12/21/is-jessica-sierra-pregnant/feed/ 3 Jessica Sierra offers cop oral sex in exchange for release http://floridasundog.com/2007/12/03/jessica-sierra-offers-cop-oral-sex-in-exchange-for-release/ http://floridasundog.com/2007/12/03/jessica-sierra-offers-cop-oral-sex-in-exchange-for-release/#comments Mon, 03 Dec 2007 19:43:31 +0000 Tim http://floridasundog.com/2007/12/03/jessica-sierra-offers-cop-oral-sex-in-exchange-for-release/ jessica sierra mugshotIt’s days like this that I thank god I have a blog.

Alcoholism and drug abuse aren’t funny. These conditions make you say and do really stupid things. Case in point:

Jessica Sierra Arrested Again

Seems sweet l’il Jessica, fresh out of rehab for her last alcohol and drug arrest, was off the wagon down in Ybor City in the early morning hours. Bouncers had to get police to get her off the property, but unlike you and me she decided to resist. Reading the arrest report (available here or here), she throws up in the back of the squad car, then offers “to suck your dick if you don’t take me to jail”, then uses the “N” word a couple times on the ride to jail.

Attagirl, way to win friends and influence people.

Just a tip ladies: When offering to give a member of law enforcement the oral magic, it’s best to do so BEFORE vomiting.

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