Oh yeah, Kenny shaved the beard when he got the face lift, didn’t he?

Hmmm… maybe it was Papa…

***

Oh yeah, I don’t give a crap what Simon said – that David Cook kicked ass on Idol tonight!

None of the girls are living up to McPheever status this season. Pity.

***

Why was there some woman standing in the hotel parking lot with a news camera and microphone, filming herself in front of the lobby – no cameraman – when I got home tonight?

Nobody was cooking meth at this place, it was a hotel across town. At least, that’s what I heard…

Obviously, some people live under rocks.

You’ve never heard of the Cooter Festival in Inverness, FL? You’ve never watched The Daily Show?

Really people, get your heads out of the sand.

Jimmy responded by saying “When you take something I love, I take something you love”.

Jimmy went the risky route in his response. This had the potential to be a total dud, and looked like that might be the case when Brad Pitt showed up dressed as a Fedex deliveryman. But, he brings it home with a “We are the world” moment with Robin Williams, Don Cheadle, Cameron Diaz (making that totally hot fucking motion by making a circle with her fingers and poking her index finger through it… yum), Huey Lewis, JOSH GROBAN of all people, Harrison ford, and bunch of other people that I’m sure are famous but I didn’t recognize them.

Awesomeness: “I’m fucking Ben Affleck”

Let me tell you, I’ve seen some nice-looking cooters in my time, and this one ranks right up there with the best. Plus, it stays in motion and we all know those are the best cooters of all.

But, this video was awesome!

Lots of beeping going on, so technically I suppose it’s ok for work, but you know…

Anyway, I laughed hysterically once the hook became apparent.

Enjoy!

Why is this on a blog about Florida?

Because Matt Damon lives in Miami with his wife, daughter, and step-daughter. I think. Part-time, at least.

(Warning: Adult language!)

Man, don’t you know, you’re supposed to steal other things, sell them, THEN use THAT money to buy your porn. Much less embarrassing that way, if you get caught.

Good thing shoplifting doesn’t generally result in jail time, or you’d be finding out all about Brotha Lovers.

My wife sent me this cartoon (I made the extra effort of hunting up the cartoonist’s site to give proper credit – yay me!). I posted it here because I say this exact thing way too frequently, and frankly, there are a lot of you jerk-offs that give me good reason to embrace my hate and use it to keep me warm at night. This was going to be my New Years Resolutions post, but when I saw this cartoon I decided to go in a different direction:

7 Reasons I Hate You

1. You don’t use your turn signal.
2. You make sure, within five minutes of meeting me, that I know how much money you made last year.
3. You question my intelligence based on my politics or religion.
4. You ask me a question, then answer it yourself and move the conversation to another subject without waiting for MY answer.
5. You hate for dumb reasons like skin color instead of important reasons, like that turn signal thing (I HATE that!).
6. You’re my age but you’re still swapping spit in public – kiss him/her and move on, quit showing me your tongues.
7. You lied to me, once.

But mostly it’s the turn signal.