Kenny Rogers at Subway?
I think it was him, anyway. White guy, white hair, beard.
Oh yeah, Kenny shaved the beard when he got the face lift, didn’t he?
Hmmm… maybe it was Papa…
***
Oh yeah, I don’t give a crap what Simon said – that David Cook kicked ass on Idol tonight!
None of the girls are living up to McPheever status this season. Pity.
***
Why was there some woman standing in the hotel parking lot with a news camera and microphone, filming herself in front of the lobby – no cameraman – when I got home tonight?
Nobody was cooking meth at this place, it was a hotel across town. At least, that’s what I heard…
Whaddya mean, you didn’t know turtles were called “cooters”?
Ok, someone left a comment on the Cooter post aboout not knowing that turtles were called “Cooters”.
Obviously, some people live under rocks.
You’ve never heard of the Cooter Festival in Inverness, FL? You’ve never watched The Daily Show?
Really people, get your heads out of the sand.
Jimmy Kimmel is fucking Ben Affleck
I have to follow up to a post from earlier in the month that had a video of Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon, appropriately titled “I’m fucking Matt Damon“.
Jimmy responded by saying “When you take something I love, I take something you love”.
Jimmy went the risky route in his response. This had the potential to be a total dud, and looked like that might be the case when Brad Pitt showed up dressed as a Fedex deliveryman. But, he brings it home with a “We are the world” moment with Robin Williams, Don Cheadle, Cameron Diaz (making that totally hot fucking motion by making a circle with her fingers and poking her index finger through it… yum), Huey Lewis, JOSH GROBAN of all people, Harrison ford, and bunch of other people that I’m sure are famous but I didn’t recognize them.
Awesomeness: “I’m fucking Ben Affleck”
Floridians like cooters
It’s always exciting to catch a cooter on film. Those suckers can sometimes be tough to coax out into the open, but when one shows itself you can’t help but look.
Let me tell you, I’ve seen some nice-looking cooters in my time, and this one ranks right up there with the best. Plus, it stays in motion and we all know those are the best cooters of all.
Uh-oh…
Sarah Silverman breaks up with Jimmy Kimmel for Matt Damon
I’m not a huge Sarah Silverman fan, and Kimmel’s best work was on The Man Show.
But, this video was awesome!
Lots of beeping going on, so technically I suppose it’s ok for work, but you know…
Anyway, I laughed hysterically once the hook became apparent.
Enjoy!
Why is this on a blog about Florida?
Because Matt Damon lives in Miami with his wife, daughter, and step-daughter. I think. Part-time, at least.
Harden Up!
Just insert “Florida” wherever he says Australia; that’s how I feel some days.
(Warning: Adult language!)
Not everything in Florida is flat
Only in FLA: Why it is a bad idea to shoplift porn
Because the local news (and some asshat blogger) will publish your name, Joseph Michael Votta, for allegedly stealing a copy of Teenage Brotha Lovers #9 (much better than Teenage Brotha Lovers #8, IMO) from a store in Spring Hill, Florida.
Man, don’t you know, you’re supposed to steal other things, sell them, THEN use THAT money to buy your porn. Much less embarrassing that way, if you get caught.
Good thing shoplifting doesn’t generally result in jail time, or you’d be finding out all about Brotha Lovers.
7 Reasons I Hate You
My wife sent me this cartoon (I made the extra effort of hunting up the cartoonist’s site to give proper credit – yay me!). I posted it here because I say this exact thing way too frequently, and frankly, there are a lot of you jerk-offs that give me good reason to embrace my hate and use it to keep me warm at night. This was going to be my New Years Resolutions post, but when I saw this cartoon I decided to go in a different direction:
7 Reasons I Hate You
- You don’t use your turn signal.
- You make sure, within five minutes of meeting me, that I know how much money you made last year.
- You question my intelligence based on my politics or religion.
- You ask me a question, then answer it yourself and move the conversation to another subject without waiting for MY answer.
- You hate for dumb reasons like skin color instead of important reasons, like that turn signal thing (I HATE that!).
- You’re my age but you’re still swapping spit in public – kiss him/her and move on, quit showing me your tongues.
- You lied to me, once.
But mostly it’s the turn signal.
Florida Sites- An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.
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