Leaving this world the way you lived in it
A few months ago I wrote about what my wishes were in the event of my untimely death. My wife made me write it because she knew members of my family might have trouble with some of it, and she was right – they weighed in.
I will say my brother Mike had an awesome alternative, except he left out dolphin fishing off Key Largo and a poker game. But remembering the strip club (now closed, unfortunately) is certainly a masterstroke, and he has my permission to find an appropriate substitute. Lord knows, we supported many a single mom in our day. But his trip still needs to finish at the gulf with my wife and kids.
Last week, a friend of the family on my wife’s side passed away. A neighbor, a gentle man, unassuming, always willing to lend a hand. He would help my father-in-law when he had particularly difficult or heavy chores to handle. He was so vigorous I had no idea he was in his 80’s until my mother-in law told me. His yard was full of old boats in various states of repair, and he loved fishing.
He told his wife he didn’t want a memorial service, and he wanted to be cremated. His family went ahead with the memorial service because sometimes families need that sort of thing. But they did a wonderful thing.
Roy attended. In his tacklebox. 
Homemade Ice Cream Recipe
My wife posted an excellent homemade ice cream recipe on her Florida blog. Her mother and grandmother made it at every summer gathering – yum!
I love the idea that my daughters are learning traditions that have passed from mother to daughter for generations. I’m not sure how much of that goes on anymore, but I bet the afternoons they spent making ice cream with Mom and grandma will be the things they’ll remember when they have grandchildren.
What are some of the traditions passed down in your families?
Technorati Tags: ice cream, tradition, family
Saving money on the kids by giving allowances
I never had an allowance when I was a kid. Chores were treated as pilgrimatic (is that even a word?) – you know, no work, no eat? Prior to 10 years old, if I needed to earn money Dad made a list of “extra” chores over and above the usual chores and assigned a value to each.
It can take a long damn time to earn money when a day of raking leaves only earns you $1.
When I was 11 we moved to New Hampshire and I wanted a 10-speed bike. I mowed lawns all summer, spent a little as I went, but managed to save up enough for a bike by labor day. Just in time for winter in NH.
So, when my wife and kids first started talking about allowances, I was not favorably inclined: “I put a roof over your head, food on the table, clothes on your back, and you have a roomful of toys. Um… NO!”
Eventually, I relented to following my father’s lead and drawing up a list of extra chores. Mind you, my kids have never been expected to do even a fraction of what we did at their age. So extra chores were things like ‘washing the dog’. They never lasted longer than two days. My master plan was intact.
A couple months ago my wife or I read about a family that paid allowances without specific lists of chores to accomplish (if it was another blogger, I apologize for not remembering where I read it), and the kids had to “pay their way”. If they wanted something, they paid for it. Family activities were exempted, but if they wanted a toy or gadget or clothing accessory, the kid had to save and pay.
Not so novel for a lot of you, I’m sure, but in our house it was. Bunch of little leech-beggars around these parts. My wife and her cohorts in crime, the Grandmas, helped the lil beggars develop a wicked Webkins habit.
So, what the hell, we decided to give it a try. “Great,” I thought, “Just what I need, another bill.”
But, it’s working. It’s saving us money in the process. Every time the begging starts, we can immediately ask “well, how much money do you have?” Cruel to do to a 6-year old? Don’t forget, she gets paid by us every week. We’re teaching her is budgeting and saving.
The 9-year old gets it. She’s a saver, but she isn’t cheap. She wanted a Flip video camera for her birthday, so she asked for Target gift cards and saved them all up and eventually managed to buy the Flip. Her allowance goes straight to the piggy bank, and she never begs. She responds immediately to any request to help around the house, whether it is unloading the dishwasher or climbing into the attic to look for Mom’s fall decorations. We haven’t tied the allowance to a specific activity, but she’s smart enough to understand how it’s all supposed to work.
A side benefit is that we’re seeing real savings. No longer are we weighing decisions about Webkins. They’re responsible for saving and buying everything over and above the normal necessities. We still pay for movies and entertainment and educational products and services, and anything that involves the whole family, but if it is for themselves, they know they’re responsible for saving. Dad does not pay for Webkins anymore.
How do you handle the money situations with your kids?
Some Family Linkage
Since I’ve been consumed trying to turn my brothers into blog-stars and basically ignoring everything else, I figured I might take the lazy way out highlight some great posts by my increasingly-blogified family:
Da’ Wife:
The awesomest chocolate pie recipe ever.
Girls just wanna be pop-stars.
Da’ Kid:
Mustang Poem
Da’ Bruddas:
Utah vs. Michigan: I’m taking Utah and the points
Fantasy Football and College Football Picks on the Football-Pickers Radio Show
Kids sure are smart these days…
My 9-year old is teaching herself to use GIMP, and created this little animated gif for this blog on her desktop.
Can you say proud daddy?
Innocence Lost
My 9-year old is scaring me. Not only is she teaching herself to use GIMP and creating 3-D animated movies, she’s starting to check out my blogs.
Which means she could very well find her way to a nearly dormant blog with completely inappropriate content. Today, she saw the license-plate in the sidebar and popped over to imagechef to make a series of images for some of my blogs (some of which I was shocked she was even aware of), including this one.
Simple for her with imagechef, but I feel like my own innocence is lost. Now, I have to watch what I say and where I link because 9-year girls are reading.
I don’t wanna. Uh-uh. Nope.
Bad Dad
While watching the Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus Best of Both Worlds concert, the show gets to the high-heel race some radio station put on for the Dads to win 4 tickets to the concert, and backstage passes. These guys went all out, raced hard, sacrificing their bodies, just to get a priceless memory for their girls.
My 9-year old yells across the room, “You would so lose THAT!”. To me. The guy that took her to not one, not two, but 3 Father-Daughter Dances.
I didn’t miss a beat.
“You’re right, honey, because I’d have never started the race. I s’pose that means I don’t love you as much as those other Dads love their little girls.”
My wishes
Ok, sorry for this dark post on a Saturday, but my wife is making me put it in writing because she thinks people might not agree if she does what I want. I’m not normally bothered by celebrity deaths, but Tim Russert’s is really hitting me hard for some reason. Making me think of my own mortality. So, here’s what I want everyone to know if I die while you’re still alive. I want 3 things:
1. An Irish wake. No tears, please. It’s not about you, it’s about me. My mother is the only person that ever cried for me while I was alive, so don’t bother crying for when I’m dead.
2. I want to be cremated. I hate the idea of worms and maggots and roaches crawling through my nether regions.
3. I want my ashes spread at Pine Island at sunset, right as Sol touches the horizon. There’s a couple Pine Islands in Florida so to clarify: Hernando County’s Pine Island. Grill a couple burgers and franks while you’re waiting. No practical jokes with the charcoal ashes, please. The wind blows in from the water as the sun goes down, so anyone who goes with Stacey and the girls should stand off to the side or you’ll be carrying a little bit of me with you until your next shower. You don’t want this to happen:
Back to FLA
Yay!
I’m back FLA for a whole 24 hrs!
It was supposed to be about 30 hrs, but Delta canceled my flights and tried to reschedule me to get in late at night. Um no, I booked a 7 am flight for a reason, getting in after 9 pm isn’t going to to work on my 10th anniversary.
I was able to get a NWA flight at 6:30 am, but had to sit in Memphis for 6 hrs for the connection to Jax. I got to eat some good BBQ, but I’d rather been hugging my wife and kids. It was storming in Jax, and the flight turned into the second worst of my life. Our CRJ was all over the place like a rollercoaster, kids were screaming and someone vomited, which started a chain reaction for a while. I kept my nose up to the fan so cool air would blow in and keep the smells out. At one point, I pulled away for a moment and smelled pizza.
If I had a dime for every time I threw up pizza…
But we made it, an hour late. I had to rent a car because my wife wasn’t going to wait around the airport all day. I’d have done it for her, so I guess that means I love her more than she loves me. Ahem…
But the kids gave me great hugs when I got home and wouldn’t let go. The dog looked at me for minute like he thought he was dreaming, then was all over me like the kids. A great homecoming, totally worth 12 hrs of travel and nearly dying in a fiery plane crash.
Jesus doesn’t know
Last week, my 6-year old was being evil in church. Finally, I had enough and took her out of there (yes, I know she got what she wanted but it got to the point where she was physically injuring people next to her). The punishment was appropriate, and I also asked her to write a letter of apology to Jesus. Instead, she wrote it to God.
I’m saving it to frame when she gets older.
The translation, for those of you that can’t read kindergarten spelling and grammar:
Sorry I was bad so I’m sending this note.
Love Emily __________
xoooo
PS: Don’t tell Jesus, he doesn’t know
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