Dr. Jack Mehoff at Hernando High School in Brooksville, FL
I see this year’s graduates at my Alma Mater are doing their level-best to keep parents on their toes.
Dr. Jack Mehoff on Sex Education
Now, off to watch Varsity Blues. The strip club scene just came on. Hot for teacher, ya know.
How Santa and his helpers enjoy their downtime after Christmas
Looks like Santa treated his helpers to a little vacation time in Florida this year. Naturally, they chose Brooksville, FL, home of Roger’s Christmas House. This photo was taken across the street at the Hawkins House, where my mother has a small gift shop (called The Paper Porch) with an awesome selection of Vera Bradley handbags, jewelry, collectibles, and more.
‘cueing with the bloggers
I made the trip down to Brooksville this weekend to see the family and eat red meat with bloggers. Colleen and her husband, Jim, served up some damn tender steak and tasty corn on the cob, complemented by the Fabs‘ potato salad and my contribution, Sonny’s baked beans, for which I broke into Sonny’s and slaved over for hours early in the morning.
Cheryl brought presents for Fab and me, and I have to admit, my heart skipped a beat when I saw the bag:
But when I saw what was inside the bag, I got REALLY excited!
Yeah, baby, the Cap’n is HOT! And the Pez is the BOMB! I’m gonna have some good eatin’ for for breakfast tomorrow.
I wanted to bring one of my daughter’s to meet Colleen’s kids and I’m sorry she backed out at the last minute because those are great kids, very well-behaved and remarkably insightful.
Of course the evening was topped off when our Florida Gators whupped the collective asses of the Tennessee Volunteers, 59-20. Those of you NOT from Florida probably can’t understand the pure satisfaction of being able to walk into a convenience store and greet a total stranger with "Go Gators" rather than the obligatory half-grin-and-nod-and-mumble.
See, Florida is the place to be: great friends, great food, and great football.
Trying to wrap my noggin around my schedule
Up and at ‘em pretty early this morning. The day job is cool about letting me come in early when I need to leave early. After all, whether I sit on my ass with nothing to do from 7 to 3:30 or 8 to 4:30 isn’t really a big deal. I’m taking the family to Brooksville to visit the parental units this weekend, and I hate driving with the kids in the dark. Nighttime driving is best done alone, in my opinion.
That way, no one can see what you’re up to. Ahem.
Other than that, I’m experimenting with some new tools and planning my move of this blog to Wordpress. Err, I may go a little slow on that. I moved a blog last weekend and managed to wipe out all my data. It was only through the creative use of blogging duct tape that I recovered as much as I did.
Anywayzzz, I hate giving previews of upcoming posts because then I feel accountable for them and all that, but I’m gonna do it and see if I can manage to follow through this time:
1. Book reviews of Randy Wayne White’s Doc Ford novels, set in Sanibel.
What you want more? Hey, there’s something like 14 of them, it’s going to take some time. Then, I might try Hiaasen. I like Hiaasen. Then Macomber’s historical fiction. And maybe Tim Dorsey’s Serge books. Not a big fan, but I’ll save the reason why until the review.
Oh, who am I kidding? Every book is the same – Serge gets pissed off about some perceived injustice, Coleman does a bunch of drugs, they kill the people Serge is pissed at in some creative and humorous manner, The End.
There, one last set of reviews to write.
Doing a favor, and an experiment
My mother owns a gift shop in Brooksville and I just want to help her search engine rankings with this post. She’s the only retailer authorized to sell Vera Bradley in Brooksville, and I believe one of two authorized to sell Vera Bradley in Hernando County. The name of the shop is The Paper Porch.
Feel free to give out some link love, maybe you’ll get some link karma! If not, build a bridge and move along… 
Note: This was NOT a sponsored post! Unless you count 9 months of uterus-living, 18 yrs of food and shelter, and a college education a prepayment on this post. 
Where I spent my summer vacation
Got back from another whirlwind trip to Brooksville to visit my father, who has been in the hospital for several weeks recovering from two separate surgeries, the last one gone bad. He’s doing better now, thankfully, and they released him this evening. Five days ago they told us he’d be there for two to four more weeks.
Yeah, doctors know what they’re talking about (not).
Ok, I admit that was a little snarky. But, there were a lot of mistakes made.
I had surgery in April here in Jacksonville. It went well, despite the surgeon getting a surprise when he cut me open, which required the surgery to take over twice as long as normal. But, he was competent.
[EDITED ESPECIALLY SNARKY, UNFAIR COMMENT]
Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical school class?A. Doctor.
Give me a break, docs, if you knew what a clusterf— his surgery and recovery was, you’d understand. Our MD friends were beside themselves with each new development. It wasn’t just a pissed-off family, it was the physician’s colleagues that were telling us how bad this was.
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Update: Boyett’s owner still not conscious (St. Pete Times)
Just following up on my posts from last week regarding the condition of the owner of Boyett’s Grove, shot during a brazen daytime robbery by a couple of nimrods. Here’s a bit from the St. Pete Times:
Jim Oleson remains in critical condition a week after he was shot during an armed robbery at Boyett’s Grove and Citrus Attraction, a relative said Wednesday. Oleson lost consciousness shortly after he was shot in the chest April 25 and has not woken up. “We’re a long, long, long way from being out of the woods, ” said L.E. Boyett, Oleson’s father-in-law. “That was the last thing the doctors said to me.” Meanwhile, the investigation into the armed robbery continues. A Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman said deputies are pursuing a number of leads. Anyone with information is asked to call the anonymous tip line at (352) 797-8477.
Only in FLA: Why Carn-ies are so damn interesting!
Everybody who works at the fair has a story, they say, and every scar tells one. Dan Weaver starts his story like this:
“I should be dead.”
Weaver was working an old cable-run Ferris wheel on Aug. 25, 1978, at 11:05 p.m., across the street from a Catholic church. About 12 kids were on the ride.
The wheel was coming around when he saw a loose angle iron, just dangling there, and he had just enough time, he said, to try to knock it back up so it would clear the metal base of the ride. Then, he said, he would shut off the ride and get it fixed.
The angle iron was about a quarter-inch thick and about 8 feet long and was painted-white steel.
It went in just to the right of his belly button.
Came out his back.
Just missed his spine.
It pinned him to the metal base like a butterfly on a board…
Ew. Can’t believe they published the picture in a family newspaper, but WTH…
Boyette’s Update, and a reminder to catch these numrods…
Update:
Family says Boyette’s Grove owner is still alive
By TIMES STAFF
Published April 28, 2007http://www.sptimes.com/2007/04/28/Hernando/Family_says_Boyette_s.shtml‘SPRING LAKE’
Jim Oleson, the owner of the iconic Boyett’s Grove and Citrus Attraction on Spring Lake Highway, is alive, but his family said little else about his condition on Friday. Oleson, 58, was shot once in the chest during a robbery Wednesday afternoon. A family member spoke to reporters at St. Joseph’s Hospital in Tampa on behalf of the family, saying they wanted to thank everyone for their words of concern and encouragement. Oleson is listed in critical condition. The Hernando County Sheriff’s Office is still seeking the three men involved in the armed robbery. On Friday, the agency released composite sketches of two individuals sought in connection to the incident. The first man is black, 20 to 25 years old, clean shaven and was wearing a white shirt. Authorities also want to question a person of interest, a black man with dreadlocks tied atop his head. Anyone with information can call the anonymous tip line at (352) 797-8477.
Catch the nimrods that shot the owner of Boyett’s Grove
My wife sent me this article from the St. Pete Times. Boyett’s Grove is a small roadside attraction in Hernando County, a few miles outside of Brooksville. It’s a working citrus grove that sells their own produce, as well as a small zoo and souvenir store
(mostly just stuff only a tourist would buy – you know what I mean). My kids loved going there, and the animals were surprising well-kept. In fact, there was once an episode of “Simple Life” filmed there where a 
monkey went all pissy on Paris Hilton. Funny as hell.
Anyway, catch these mother-effers, y’all!
Attraction owner shot, robbed
By JOHN FRANK
Published April 26, 2007SPRING LAKE – A manhunt continued into the night for three suspects who robbed a Hernando County tourist attraction and shot the owner in the chest Wednesday afternoon.Jim Oleson was tending the cash register at Boyett’s Grove and Citrus Attraction on Spring Lake Highway at 2:43 p.m. when three young black men, two of whom wore Halloween masks entered the store, according to witnesses and a preliminary investigation by the Hernando County Sheriff’s Office.
The suspects took an undisclosed amount of cash and shot the 58-year-old owner below the heart with a handgun. Oleson was airlifted to St. Joseph’s hospital in Tampa where he underwent surgery in the evening and was listed in critical condition, authorities said.
A patron in the store was also robbed, but he was left unharmed. Oleson’s wife, Kathy Boyett Oleson, also was in the store.
Perched on a hilltop of citrus groves in southeastern Hernando County, Boyett’s Grove is part citrus stand and part Old Florida tourist-trap, complete with a small zoo featuring live alligators, monkeys and parrots.
Carol Francis was just finishing a tour of the zoo portion behind the shop with her daughter and two young grandchildren when someone at the back door told them the owner had been shot.
Francis, a retired nurse, told her daughter and grandchildren to go hide while she went inside to try to help Oleson, who was bleeding but conscious.
“He was behind the counter,” she said. “There wasn’t much I could do.”
Ritch McFerren, 69, was pulling up to the shop to get some oranges when a man rushed out the door and told him to call 911. “I ran out to the truck to make the call,” the Spring Hill resident said between cigarette puffs. “And I was on the phone with 911 when the first deputy arrived.”
McFerren came from the south but said he didn’t see the suspects or the white vehicle authorities were trying to locate.
Authorities described the first suspect as a black male, 20 to 25 years old and about 5-foot 10-inches. He is clean shaven and was wearing a white T-shirt and dark pants. The other two suspects wore Halloween-type masks and dark clothing, authorities said.
Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman Donna Black said investigators are trying to locate a vehicle spotted at the scene at the time of the shooting. She described it as a late-80s model white Mercedes, a two-door coupe with a red hard top last seen driving south on U.S. 41.
Deputies spent the afternoon and evening searching the surrounding area by air in a helicopter and by ground with canine officers. Spring Lake Highway was closed for a time between State Road 50 and Powell Road.
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