Mar
31
Setting the table
Filed Under Administration | Leave a Comment
Yeah, I’m still here. Not going anywhere.
Since my time is somewhat limited right now, I thought I’d take a look at my logs and see what people are searching for when they hit this blog. A couple of things that aren’t related to slutty celebrities and sluttier teachers jumped out at me, so I’m planning to “answer the mail” so to speak with the next few posts.
I could keep posting about Huntsville and being homesick, but I get tired of writing like that and I know y’all get tired of reading it. I’ve deleted a half-dozen half-written posts like that on several of my blogs in the last week. Also, I spent the weekend removing my cranium from my rectum, and feel much better.
Mar
21
Please God, Make it Stop
Filed Under Alabama | Leave a Comment
The morning anchors are pronouncing words the way they are misspelled.
“…hieress [sic] Patty Hearst” pronounced HI-ress.
Mesa, AZ prounounced MESS-uh.
Cut that out!
Mar
18
Kenny Rogers at Subway?
Filed Under Humor | 2 Comments
I think it was him, anyway. White guy, white hair, beard.
Oh yeah, Kenny shaved the beard when he got the face lift, didn’t he?
Hmmm… maybe it was Papa…
***
Oh yeah, I don’t give a crap what Simon said - that David Cook kicked ass on Idol tonight!
None of the girls are living up to McPheever status this season. Pity.
***
Why was there some woman standing in the hotel parking lot with a news camera and microphone, filming herself in front of the lobby - no cameraman - when I got home tonight?
Nobody was cooking meth at this place, it was a hotel across town. At least, that’s what I heard…
Mar
17
Still in Exile
Filed Under Alabama | 3 Comments
“The only thing wrong with Huntsville is that it is surrounded by Alabama”
- Something I read in some newspaper
I’m missing my kids. You never realize how much you need physical contact like a hug until there’s no one around to give you one.
Ah well, slowly but surely I’m getting back in my routines. Spending the weekend doing laundry and cleaning and organizing and getting set to move into a real apartment at the end of the month was a big weight off my shoulders.
Some observations about Huntsville;
- The worst. drivers. ever. And I’ve lived in Orlando, with tourists. I mean, I’m a guy that drives 80 mph as a rule, but this place is like the training grounds for Talledega. And everyone has a cell phone in their ear while driving. The faster they drive, the more they talk. Weird. But it’s not just the speed, it’s the weaving and cutting in and out. If there ain’t rubbing, it ain’t racin’ right?
- There’s a morning news anchor that holds up various local and national newspapers and reads from them. WTF? I could do THAT.
- I ate breakfast at a restaurant called “Waffle King”. It’s exactly like Waffle House, but cleaner. I mean, every single bit is exactly like Waffle House. The whole time all I could think of was Coming to America.
“Look… me and the McDonald’s people got this little misunderstanding. See, they’re McDonald’s… I’m McDowell’s. They got the Golden Arches, mine is the Golden Arcs. They got the Big Mac, I got the Big Mick. We both got two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions, but their buns have sesame seeds. My buns have no seeds.”
-Cleo McDowell
- Being in the Central Time Zone sucks. Who wants to watch Lost at 8 p.m.?
- Oh, the big news on the morning and evening news today is there’s a Bass Pro Shop being built over in Decatur!
- Old-school Publix, a mile away. Floridians know what I’m talking about.
- I’ve never seen such a small city with so many titty bars.
- I’ve been watching way too much TMZ.
- I’m pretty sure Huntsville has the most Walmarts per capita in the world.
- I saw Bill Clinton having breakfast with a Brunette at the Waffle King yesterday. I think.
- The number of Meth-Treatment billboards around town was unexpected.
- But, in the ten days I’ve been here, I haven’t seen a single report of a murder. Jacksonville can’t made it 24 hrs without one.
- Dude! I just saw Jennifer Anniston’s butt in an itsy-bitsy bikini on TMZ and it was awesome!
- For someone that once owned a 4 bedroom home, it’s shocking to see how little of what I own is actually mine, and how little of my “things” I really need. It’s all here in one room.
Mar
14
Checking in
Filed Under Alabama | Leave a Comment
Just popping in quickly to say that I’m still here. No, really.
It’s been incredibly busy. We spent three very full days orienting ourselves to the neighborhoods and schools of Huntsville, and succeeded in only confusing ourselves. So many choices, each with pros and cons.
I’m excited about the job. It feels very comfortable and the company has excellent training materials - we’ll see if the training holds up to reality very soon. But so far I haven’t seen anything that intimidates me. Also, this is probably the cleanest factory I’ve ever worked in, and definitely the largest by several multiples.
I’m hoping to slow down over the weekend and start developing my daily routines to allow me to get back to the regular posting routine. I haven’t even had time to read blogs, so if y’all have stuff going on that I should be knowing, I apologize know and promise to catch up soon.
Mar
6
Leaving Florida
Filed Under Florida is Great | 2 Comments
In less than 24 hours I will be leaving FLA for the arctic north that is Huntsville, AL.
Everything north of the Florida state line is “up north” to me.
So, I’ll be missing and not missing a bunch of things. Of course, friends and family top that list, Florida bloggers included. The coolest thing is meeting truly talented people with a lot of the same interests, like sweet asses and nice racks.
Anyway, here’s a list of some other things I’m going to miss about Florida:
- Disney and the Orlando theme parks are a $300 day trip rather than a $2,000 vacation.
- Watching the sun set over the Gulf of Mexico from Pine Island.
- The coolest town on the east coast, St. Augustine.
- The coolest island in Florida, Amelia Island.
Here’s a list of things I won’t miss:
- South Florida. Really people, y’all should quit calling yourselves Floridians. ‘cept for Key West, the awesomest place I’ve ever been. You guys are ok.
- Planning and zoning commissions more interested in maximizing property tax revenues today rather than smart planning for things like water, roads, and schools.
- A governor with orange skin. WTF?
- All of the canadians down for winter vacations. Effin’ canadians. They’ll drive 2000 miles just to get a decent steak.
So yeah, I’ve got mixed feelings.
Mar
4
Jesus doesn’t know
Filed Under Family | 10 Comments
Last week, my 6-year old was being evil in church. Finally, I had enough and took her out of there (yes, I know she got what she wanted but it got to the point where she was physically injuring people next to her). The punishment was appropriate, and I also asked her to write a letter of apology to Jesus. Instead, she wrote it to God.
I’m saving it to frame when she gets older.
The translation, for those of you that can’t read kindergarten spelling and grammar:
Sorry I was bad so I’m sending this note.
Love Emily __________
xoooo
PS: Don’t tell Jesus, he doesn’t know
“
“
Mar
2
The intartubes are all abuzz about this, that, and the other thing this morning, but in checking it all out I came across one of the most unique “resorts” in all of Florida: Jules’ Undersea Lodge
From the Fact Sheet:
Jules’ Undersea Lodge Fact Sheet Location: Jules’ Undersea Lodge is located at the bottom of the Emerald Lagoon in Key Largo Undersea Park, Key Largo, Florida. It is an hour and a half drive from the Miami International Airport to Key Largo Undersea Park. Turn on Transylvania Avenue at mile marker 103.2 Oceanside on the Overseas Highway. Background:
Jules’ Undersea Lodge was originally built as La Chalupa mobile undersea laboratory, the largest and most technically advanced in the world. The Lodge has been completely remodeled to provide guests with approximately 600 square feet of luxury living space for up to six people. Lay-out: The interior has two living chambers, each 20 feet long and 8 feet in diameter. One chamber is divided into two 8 x 10 foot bedrooms; the other is an 8 X 20 foot common room with dining and entertainment facilities. Between the two chambers is a 10 X 20 foot “wetroom” entrance area with a moon pool entrance (similar to a small swimming pool), a shower and bathroom facilities. Uses: Resort for recreation and adventure, weddings and honeymoons, retreats, meetings, seminars, corporate programs; site for film and video productions, and a merchandising showcase. The Lodge also continues to serve as a research lab for special projects.
It looks surprisingly affordable (well, relatively speaking, anyway) at $475/person per night. One of those once-in-a-lifetime experiences, but within the reach of most of us with a little scrimping and saving.
Mar
1
Things to do in St. Augustine, FL
Filed Under St. Augustine | 4 Comments
Living in the area, we sometimes forget that St. Augustine is a destination for visitors from the area and vacationers. But, sometimes I like to take a step back and give readers some actual value for stopping by. That’s right, I do it all for you!
Here’s 5 cool things to do in St. Augustine:
Castillo de San Marcos
The Castillo de San Marcos was built by the Spanish to protect the city of St. Augustine, and was never defeated in battle. Today, it serves as a national historical monument and is open to tours year-round. We’ve been there a number of times, and I even proposed to my wife in one of the lookout towers. Very interesting, and the time goes by faster than you expect. You can wander the fort or take an interpretive tour with a Ranger.
Take a ride on Ripley’s Sightseeing Trains
This is a great way to see the city, and an even better way to get around the city. Parking can be difficult in the old section, so Ripley’s Sightseeing Trains allow you unlimited on/off privileges at stops all over town. Better yet, a ticket is good for 3 days, so you can keep the car parked while in St. Augustine and use the sightseeing train to get around. We did this as part of a mystery shopping assignment, and enjoyed every minute.
Carriage Rides
As you walk along Avenida Menendez and the Matanzas Bay, you will see a number of horse-drawn carriages available for hire. Another nice way to get around town, albeit a bit more expensive (and shorter!) than a sightseeing train. But, infinitely more classy and romantic. My wife hired one for our wedding, and was picked up with her mother and sister and carried to the venue wearing her wedding dress. Afterward, we were carried away and had a leisurely ride around town until dropped at our B&B for the wedding night.
First Friday Artwalk
I’ve written about the First Friday Artwalk previously; On the first Friday and Saturday every month, participating galleries offer tours that start at 5 p.m. There are complementary shuttles from St. Augustine Sightseeing Trains and Old Town Trolley Tours if you’d like to ride between stops on the Artwalk. Galleries have exhibits that include local artists, including painting, photography, and music. Dates for the remainder of 2008 are:
March 7th | April 4th | May 2nd | June 6th | July 4th | Aug. 1st | Sept. 5th | Oct. 3rd | Nov. 7th | Dec. 5th
St. Augustine Alligator Farm Zoological Park
The St. Augustine Alligator Farm is a favorite attraction for the kids. My family has been there many times, and the kids are always fascinated by the feeding show. In true Pavlovian fashion, the alligators congregate just below the feeding platform when they see a park worker step into view. The worker throws chunks of meat down to the gators, who jump, scoot, and swim to get their share. There’s plenty more to see besides alligators, though, and most people find something of interest.
