Just insert “Florida” wherever he says Australia; that’s how I feel some days. (Warning: Adult language!)

My wife and I enjoyed some adult time last night. First, we went to see Juno last night. Excellent flick, can’t recommend it enough. Great performances from some unlikely sources. The only criticism I have is that they tried to make the soundtrack too-cool. I also picked up a new euphemism for penis: Pork-Sword And [...]

My 8-year old just won a poetry contest with this poem: A Dog’s Life Dear Julie, I sat alone, Without a home, Then you came to me, I filled with glee. I came with you, With a collar of blue. I loved you, and as I grew, We’ve had fun, playing in the sun, But [...]

Jerry: Yeah. Like Bizarro Superman. Superman’s exact opposite, who lives in the backwards bizarro world. Up is down, down is up. He says “Hello” when he leaves, “Good bye” when he arrives. Elaine: Shouldn’t he say “bad bye”? Jerry: No, it’s still goodbye. Elaine: Does he live underwater? Jerry: No. Elaine: Is he black? Jerry: [...]

Rudy Giuliani is all over Florida. See him there! What about there! Hey, hey, I got him, he’s over here! He’s getting a lot of flack over his perceived exploitation of 9/11, but never let it be said his campaign lacks for creative thinking in working ways to remind us: Rudy Giuliani’s Subliminal Endorsement Ahem.

Most people know I’m a Gator fan. I don’t pretend anything else. Now, we’re hearing reports that Urban Meyer contacted the girlfriend of a recruit, who is also a gymnast and probably a legitimate scholarship athlete herself, supposedly to recruit her with the idea that she and the football recruit would probably accept scholarships together. [...]

At first, I was tempted to make this an “Only in FLA” post, but those have tended to take on a humorous, can-you-believe-this-shit tone lately. Nothing humorous about this story, reported by the Orlando Sentinel, of a nursing home patient found with an infected breathing tube and MAGGOTS IN HIS EYES! I’ve spent (not enough) [...]

I’m not much for pondering past accomplishments as the list is long and distinguished, much like my johns-… Sorry. Had a Top Gun moment there. I’ve been distracted by all the craziness that is Tom Cruise the past few days. Anyway, I was looking into why Pokerstars was all of a sudden sending me free [...]

So that @#$%^&!!!! Cheryl tagged me. To Please the Sponsors – The Rules: 1- Link to the person’s blog who tagged you. 2- Post these rules on your blog. 3- List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself. 4- Tag seven random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs. [...]

So, there was this guy last week, goes to a drive-thru at McDonald’s in Jacksonville. Driving away, he checks his order and discovers the crew forgot his two orders of fries. Obviously, something must be done. After all, we’re talking about two orders of fries, not just one. And I’ll give you two guys, a [...]