A message for my daughter on the occasion of her sixth birthday
We had a great day today. Your sixth birthday, and 18 little princesses showed up!
But the best part for me occurred this morning, when it was just the two of us talking about what it means to be six years old. I tried to convince you that you are now a “Big Girl”, but you’re having none of that. You still want to be Daddy’s Little Girl, and I love you for it. When we hugged, you made me feel so special, and when you said out loud “I love my daddy”, I was so happy that I forgot how bad this cold has me feeling and raced around helping your Mommy do all those last-minute chores before the 18 princesses showed up.
Now, it’s 10:30 p.m., and you and your older sister are in the family room, trying valiantly to stay awake to see the New Year. And I am remembering what it was like on this night, six years ago.
We had a choice of when you could be born. Your Mommy was not in the best health, and the doctor knew ahead of time that he would have to do an operation to get you out of her belly. You were supposed to be born on January 9, but we talked about it and thought you might enjoy having your birthday on New Year’s Eve when you were older, so your birthday would always be a big event with all of your friends and family spending it with YOU.
Your future husband may hate us for that decision, but I know I’ll hate him for taking you away from me, so you can tell him I don’t really care what he thinks and he BETTER give you the birthdays you want.
When you came out of Mommy’s belly, it was really scary. Something happened with Mommy’s medicine, and she was able to feel the doctors’ cutting some of her insides. By then, it was too late and they had to keep to keep going. I remember looking around the operating room and seeing the eyes of the nurses above their masks. There seemed to be extra nurses, all there to do different jobs afterwards to take care of you and Mommy. All of their eyes were wide, and none of them were talking; I’m not even sure they were breathing. I looked at the nurse that was responsible for Mommy’s medicine, but she wouldn’t look at me. The doctor tried to tilt the table Mommy was laying on, to get the medicine to flow to the right places.
It didn’t work. Mommy cried a lot, but she never moved because she knew it wouldn’t be safe. She was very brave.
After you were out, I was told to go with you until the doctors fixed Mommy and moved her to your room. She was much better when I saw her a little while afterward. While waiting for them to bring her to her room, I brought our family up to the nursery to see you through the window. I held you up and you started crying really loud and got all red and angry, and your older sister got very scared and started crying because she thought you would be a sleeping like her little dolls. Soon, you slept a bunch.
Mommy says now that she thinks you weren’t “finished cooking” when we took you out. You slept and slept all day, and you wouldn’t wake up to drink anything. The doctors grew worried, and the nurses began checking you very frequently. They finally told us they were worried about something called “failure to thrive”, which basically means you didn’t know you were supposed wake up and start drinking stuff. That evening, I went with you to a special nursery with special nurses, and you held my finger while they put a tube through your nose and down your throat so they could feed you.
The nurses were nice and didn’t ask me to leave. They let me feed you through your tube that night. I stayed with you that night, sitting in a rocking chair and watching you and thinking about everything and nothing. I learned a couple things that night. I learned about real fear. More important, I learned the nature of love.
I was so worried when your Mom and I talked about having a second child. I thought Love was something finite, and I was afraid to have my Love for my child divided by a second child. It wasn’t normal to think that way, and your Pop-Pop and Grandma never made me feel like I shared their love with my brothers. But, I was still scared for some reason. Sitting with you that night, I realized that Love is infinite. I was able to love you completely, and never loved your sister any less. Love fills everything between a father and his children, and keeps pouring forth without end like water down a waterfall.
There are some men out there that have something wrong with themselves, and they find ways to turn their love off and on, like the water in a garden hose. But, there are way more men that love like I do. While the love between you and I is unique and special, these men are also able to love their children completely in their own way. I know someday you will find a man like that is able to do this, because I can tell that you will only love that kind of man.
I’ll still hate him, though. Shhhh, it will be our secret.
I love you, honey.
Comments
7 Comments on A message for my daughter on the occasion of her sixth birthday
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Cheryl on
Tue, 1st Jan 2008 2:36 pm
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Colleen on
Tue, 1st Jan 2008 4:39 pm
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Jill on
Tue, 1st Jan 2008 4:47 pm
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Lisa Marie Mary on
Wed, 2nd Jan 2008 1:12 am
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Tim on
Wed, 2nd Jan 2008 6:07 am
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Stacey on
Wed, 2nd Jan 2008 12:00 pm
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Connie on
Wed, 2nd Jan 2008 7:25 pm
Awww…that was sweet!
Tim, you made me cry! That was incredibly sweet.
I bet she and her sister are wrapped around Daddy’s finger! This story is heart warming.
This was a wonderful note to end my day on. I’m going to fall asleep thinking about all of this wonderful kind of love!
Happy Birthday to your sweet princess!! 
Oh man, now I’m going to ruin my reputation as a sexist misogynist. 
Thanks for the wonderful comments!
you made me cry too….especially because my clarity from that day is nil…
Now why did you have to go and write something like this? Man oh man..I don’t want to cry, but you’re forcing me too. You meanie you.
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