Coming Soon: American Idol – The MILF Edition (or, “Is Jessica Sierra pregnant?”)

December 21, 2007 by Tim
Filed under: Florida Crime 

jessica sierra mugshotMan, I’ve got to be careful how I word these things. But, local news websites, Fox News, and TMZ are all reporting that sweet l’il Jessica is on a pregnancy diet between bars. Daddy is supposed to be a rapper.

I half expected it to be a cop. But, I guess you can’t get preggers from oral sex, despite what I might be telling my own girls in a couple years.

(Be sure to look for my upcoming book, “Sex Misinformation: How to Scare and Guilt Your Children Into Chastity”. Y’all.)

So, let’s see what this little one gets to look forward to in about 10 years when his/her Mom is chain-smoking Marlboros on the porch of her double-wide on Nebraska Avenue, assuming he/she manages to get online at the library or someplace that won’t filter news about his/her Mom:

  1. Multiple drug and alcohol arrests
  2. Mom offering to blow a cop to get out of jail
  3. Mom’s sex tape
  4. Mom preg-o in jail

Did I miss anything?

Oh yeah, she managed to make it to the American Idol finals. Nice. She peaked at 20 years of age.

jessica sierra sex tape

Comments

3 Comments on Coming Soon: American Idol – The MILF Edition (or, “Is Jessica Sierra pregnant?”)

  1. Sport on Sat, 22nd Dec 2007 9:48 pm
  2. Looking forward to next year’s auditions on American Idol: The MILF Edition.

  3. Mr. Fabulous on Sun, 23rd Dec 2007 5:41 am
  4. Perhaps you could take her under your wing, provide some much needed guidance for the wayward lass…

  5. Tim on Sun, 23rd Dec 2007 9:29 am
  6. @ Sport: Damn, I wish I’d have thought of that for the title to this post! If you don’t mind, I’m going to edit this title and use it. :-)

    @ Fab: Yes, I have a need to fix women with problems, or so my therapist tells me.

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