Since I seem to be on a pattern of hitting the Southeast lately, and because I last went after North Carolina, South Carolina is our destination for today’s installment. To be perfectly honest, this post was MUCH easier to do than the Georgia, NC, and NH posts.

Without further ado, 7 Reasons Florida is Better Than South Carolina:

1. Florida has 2 NFL teams and something that plays in the NFL but otherwise bears no resemblance to an NFL team down in Miami. South Carolina has none, and tries to co-opt North Carolina’s team by claiming it as their own because the team name does not distinguish between the Carolinas. This is weak.
2. Daytona > Darlington
3. Andy Dick is from South Carolina. The Fruitcake Lady is from Florida. The Fruitcake Lady > Andy Dick.
4. Steve Spurrier coached the Florida Gators for 12 seasons and won 6 SEC championships and one national championship and never lost more than 4 games in a season. He won his first SEC championship with the Gators in his second season, and won the divisional title in his 3rd season. In 3 seasons at the University of South Carolina, he won zero SEC championships, and has lost at least 5 games every season.
5. South Carolina outlawed Video poker in 2000. Florida raised the betting limits for real poker in Casinos in 2007. Real legal poker > illegal Video poker.
6. EPCOT > Pedroland (South of the Border)
7. “Don’t tase me bro!” > “I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh, people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, uh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries…”

Update: Be sure to see the response from Jenn, a misguided South Carolinian.